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| so, hmmm....i guess im updating.....its only been like four months since i've done this but i guess on some level i've sorta missed it! i think i use it when i have areas of unusually high emotions and/or when i have some free time on my hands.......
*depression* its not exactly what im feeling, but ive definately been a down hill slope for a while now....stress and stuff has done a huge toll on me and my habits.....and i'm to a point in my life where i don't like who i am and i dont like where im going...i'm disappointed in my decisions and im longing for the day when i was the person i loved......b/c im someone else now...someone no one could love...i'm working so so hard to pull myself out of this rut i've put myslef in *line from some random song* but i feel like the harder i try to get out, the deeper i get.....i feel helpless now.....
i keep feeling sorry for myself and thinking how horrible i have it, but i dont, i know that i'm so much better off than most people, but i feel like all my hard work is getting me to no where but more hard work and disappointment....b/c i've seldom had times in my life where my hard work has paid off....i feel like im losing respect among the teachers, my peers are drawing away from me, and im losing my approval of myself...and i honestly dont know why......this year has been the hardest for me so far and i've wanted nothing more than to just stop everything....drop it all and lay down and stop
i dont want to keep complaining but its just my basic outlook on everything right now, and i really dont know how to change...:(
x~Ty~x | | |
| Hey people!
So Tyler is currently at governor's school, exciting huh? um...no....anyway, no its a lot of fun just sorta stressful cuz they give you SO MUCH FREAKIN WORK....plus its hard...oh well, cool people here, cool people......
well if you're cool and want to like go to lunch with me, then i'll think about it; just tell me.....but you have to be one of the select few...LOL JK....i love you all.....anyways.........im bored..thats why im typing this anyway right?
so.......sdfjkdldljkdsljkdfljkd...well i got my report card and im really depressd because i got a C......HAH.....j/k.....A's again..joy....so alicia called me last night from Governor's school of Int'l studies and apparently that one is hard too....i just sorta wish they hadn't changed the structure of the program..it sorta took away from it....OH WELL i gotta go...more later....just ask questions if you want to know something about it....BYE!
-ty | | |
| so....it starts tomorrow...im goin off to governor's school for five weeks and im not gonna see you guys until its over. *tear* i'll miss you all.....but i'll still talk to you guys on AIM and stuff and i'll try to update this thing alot...it should be fun it's just gonna be a new experience and i dunno how i'll adapt to it...
but yeah, i hung out with cory and megan tonight and it was fun..we had a good time...my last tramping session for a while as well....
one of my friends is really disappointing me right now...and i wish that how he/she approaches our relationship changes this summer or i dunno how its gonna last
well im really tired or i would update more but there isnt much to say i've just been getting ready lately.....that and trying to have a good itme before i leave....well i need to go now....i love you all!! i'll see ya in july!
<3 ty | | |
| omg! so apparently someone thinks im one of the people doin the hate list thing.....wtf? why would i do that...thats so not me......BLAH..i hate xanga....too much drama....im pretty sure i wouldnt do somethin like that since the administration would probably shoot me seeing how they reacted to my old xanga. and i think everyone knows im not that immature
-Tyler- | | |
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